Tag Archives: film

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Piranhaconda (2012)

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Review by CJ

Piranhaconda

Director:
Jim Wynorski

Starring:
Rib Hillis, Terri Ivens, Shandi Finnessey, Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter

Other notable appearances:
Slimy, oozy piranhaconda eggs and their bitey parents

Running time:
85 minutes

Watch this if you liked: Anaconda 1-4, Sharktopus, Piranha 3D

 

A film crew happens to be filming their horror movie in Hawaii near where a scientist has recently stolen a piranhaconda’s egg. The film crew and scientist both get taken hostage by a group of mercenaries and lots of people from all parties end up being eaten by a giant snake-piranha hybrid. That’s pretty much it – these movies aren’t really known for their plots.

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Godzilla (2014)

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Review by CJ

Godzilla

Director:
Gareth Edwards

Starring:
Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Bryan Cranston, David Strathairn

Other notable appearances:
GIANT FIGHTING MONSTERS!

Running time:
123 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Godzilla (1954), Jurassic Park

 

Warning: May contain spoilers for a movie made in 1954, the 2014 remains mostly unspoiled.

A new species referred to as the MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism) hatches at the former site of a nuclear reactor. The calls of the MUTO summon an ancient apex predator who hasn’t been seen in 60 years. It’s now up to Lieutenant Brody (Taylor-Johnson), his nuclear scientist father (Cranston), Doctor Serizawa (Watanabe) and the US military to herd the MUTO and Godzilla together for a battle that has been thousands of years in the making.

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RoboCroc (2013)

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Review by CJ

Robocroc

Director:
Arthur Sinclair

Starring:
Corin Nemec, Lisa McAllister, Dee Wallace, Steven Hartley

Other notable appearances:
A pair of crocs shoes

Running time:
77 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Lake Placid, Dinocroc vs. Supergator

 

A shuttle carrying government nanotechnology explodes, ejecting its payload into a crocodile enclosure at a water adventure park. The nanotechnology integrates with the park’s Australian saltwater crocodile, Stella, and sends her on a single minded mission for survival. This, of course, includes detecting food in the form of the park’s guests and staff. It’s up to zookeeper Duffy (Nemec) to predict Stella’s next move and stop her before RoboCroc can take over completely.

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Amphibious (2010)

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Review by CJ

Amphibious

Director:
Brian Yuzna

Starring:
Janna Fassaert, Michael Paré, Monica Sayangbati

Other notable appearances:
Giant aquatic scorpion

Running time:
83 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Anaconda, Jaws, Piranha

 

Two young brothers are sold into slavery aboard a fishing platform off the coast of Indonesia. When the oldest boy is killed by one of the slavers, the youngest child invokes Dukun (Indonesian shaman) magic to seek revenge in the form of a giant, man-eating scorpion. It’s up to a marine biologist and the crew she chartered to save the children on the fishing platform before they all become scorpion food.

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Avalanche Sharks (2013)

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Review by CJ

Avalanche Sharks

Director:
Scott Wheeler

Starring:
Alexander Mendeluk, Kate Nauta, Emily Addison

Other notable appearances:
SKOOKUM!

Running time:
82 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Sharknado, Swamp Shark, Sharktopus, Shark Night, Bait, Ghost Shark

 

I hope I get this right, because I’m not entirely sure I know what was happening. It’s spring break at Mammoth Mountain and two snowboarders go missing. In Jaws style the authorities refuse to close the mountain despite skiers and snowboarders dropping like flies to the Skookums (Native American sharks possibly from outer space who swim through snow). It’s up to US Marine Wade, the mountain Sheriff and their girlfriends to stop the Skookums before it’s too late.

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