Review by CJ

Director:
Declan O’Brien

Starring:
Eric Roberts, Kerem Bursin, Sara Malakul Lane

Other notable appearances:
A genetically engineered shark-octopus hybrid

Running time:
89 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Sharknado, Dinoshark, Ghost Shark, Bait

A shark-octopus hybrid is genetically engineered for the American military. When a boat collides with its neural implant the scientists lose control of the sharktopus. The creature begins a rampage killing anyone in its path. It’s up to the sharktopus creator (Roberts), his scientist daughter (Lane) and an ex-Navy SEAL (Bursin) to bring it in at any cost.

Sharknado is the b-grade horror movie against which I have compared all b-grade horror movies since seeing it last year. Sharktopus was almost, ALMOST as enjoyable.

The fun and silliness of Sharktopus kept me entertained for the near hour and a half of the film. When I view a b-grade horror film, I expect a certain measure of self-awareness. This generally means: the film won’t try to take itself seriously; the dialogue is so stuffed full of cheese that lactose intolerant viewers feel it; the CGI is questionable and the props are hilarious; and the plot is outlandish. Check, check, check. Double check.

Sharktopus is extremely predictable, but the general rule of thumb for most b-grade horror movies allows for this. You have a good idea within the first 10 minutes of who will still be standing when the credits roll. When two nameless men show up ready to accompany ex-Navy SEAL Andy on a scuba diving expedition, they may as well have been wearing red shirts and asking Scotty to beam them down.

For a b-grade horror movie with questionable (at best) acting, cheddar dialogue, and terrible special effects, Sharktopus had a decent plot. Were there holes? The swiss cheese plot accompanied the cheddar dialogue nicely. But nonetheless, Sharktopus was about the military losing control of their weapon and sending people to retrieve it unharmed. Just in this case the weapon happened to be a half-shark, half-octopus creature.

Don’t go into Sharktopus expecting to see a drama filled natural horror movie, if you want that go and watch Jaws. Watch Sharktopus because you want to laugh at a silly monster with a wacky theme song.

Rating: