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Camel Spiders (2011)

Review by CJ

Camel Spiders

Director:
Jim Wynorski

Starring:
Brian Krause, C. Thomas Howell, Melissa Brasselle

Tagline:
They really get under your skin

Running time:
79 minutes

Watch this if you liked:
Piranhaconda, Arachnoquake

 

An army Captain (Krause) returning the body of a fallen comrade to the USA unknowingly brings back giant camel spiders (not actually spiders). Will the people of a small Arizona town be able able to hold off the attack of the camel spiders?

I will be honest with you, dear reader. I loathed so many characters in this film that I was rooting for the non-spiders. The bickering couple, the whining teenager, the cutthroat businessman, the female soldier who is as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. Not nearly enough of the annoying people succumbed to the non-spiders.

I know this is a strange thing to be thinking about a film where giant spiders are taking over a small town. However, I couldn’t stop wondering how either army officers or the police officer managed to get those positions without being able to shoot a giant spider at three paces.

I’ve only seen Brian Krause in Charmed and Sleepwalkers. Likewise I have only seen C.Thomas Howell in The Outsiders. Both actors did decent jobs and it was amusing to watch the contrast between the two “known” actors and the rest of the cast.

In saying all of that, likeable characters with well-developed backgrounds and great plot are not why someone (me) watches a film like Camel Spiders. You (I) watch it for the cheap laughs at the expense of bad acting, cheesy dialogue and questionable special effects. While Camel Spiders had all of these things, they never quite hit the mark. Except for the actress who carefully placed herself on the ground instead of falling during a camel spider attack. That was hilarious.

Camel Spiders is a pretty average representation of the b-grade natural horror genre. It’s not without its entertaining moments but I would only recommend this one for hardcore natural horror fans.

Rating:
2 Cheese

“You know, if sarcasm worked better on bugs than bullets,
then you’d be the first person I’d call.”

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