Greetings, Gothamites!

Superheroes. A Star Trek alumnus. Meg Ryan’s son. An R-rating. I mean … How could I not dive into The Boys?! (Even if it was two seasons in by the time I got around to it.)

Consider this your significant warning that there will most certainly be spoilers ahead! 

1. I mean, both kids have valid points but it’s hard to beat “how’s he gonna find his dick, it’s invisible”
2. Talk about stopping traffic
3. i’d throw up too if someone split my armoured truck in half just by standing in front of it
4. I love how bad guys ALWAYS keep shooting at the obviously bulletproof dudes
5. That cartoon crash in the background while the Captain America/Superman rip-off asks if the boys are okay
6. Is this guy’s superpower upselling with techno-babble?
7. I don’t think that means what she thinks it means
8. That did not mean what she thinks it means
9. What just happened?
10. That’s a lot of blood
11. And internal organs
12. Is that part of a spine?!
13. That was fucked up
14. Mate, if you can run that fast, you should have better reflexes
15. The Flash never did that
16. That’s one pretty effective way to create a supervillain
17. Meanwhile, I have trouble lifting my cat
18. Super pee test
19. “Since when did hopeful and naive become the same thing” — I feel that
20. SIMON PEGG?! WHAT!!! MULTIPLE STAR TREK ALUMNI!!!
21. Yeah, the guy’s girlfriend was just obliterated in front of him but let’s talk about the food
22. Fuck that lame press conference apology
23. His imagined response is actually pretty reasonable
24. That was a good cover on the excited screaming
25. Didn’t she have a pure white cape before?
26. Is there like superhero formal and superhero casual?
27. Extreme superhero marketing
28. Nice segue from “this is how much money we made off these people” to “but we help them help people too!”
29. The marketing presentation for the superheroes is too real
30. This is actually what it would be like if superheroes existed
31. I still wish they did though
32. Oh, hey, Aquaman
33. Superhero imposter syndrome — too real
34. I bet Homelander doesn’t feel that way
35. WHAT
36. WHAT
37. SURPRISE SUPERHERO DICK
38. He did not just say that
39. He did not just double down on that
40. What a %$#&
41. Does this place not have security cameras?!
42. Yep — far too real
43. Oh, hey, Bones
44. Did he just call Lady Liberty a “giant green slapper”?
45. So, Butcher is basically superhero Mulder?
46. After seeing The Deep go full Weinstein, I can believe what he’s saying though
47. Oh, he’s good
48. What the fuck 
49. What the FUCK
50. Wait what … the fuck
51. Superhero kink club?
52. Well, that was a graphic description from A-Train
53. Um, Wonder Woman rip-off? That was a shitty girl talk
54. Full frontal superhero dick from the second sleazebag
55. I’m glad to hear there is at least one good hero
56. I don’t think Butcher is actually FBI
57. Come on, Hughie, get it together 
58. Is she selling a superhero to a city?
59. I wonder how much Central City would pay for The Flash?
60. “We both know your city needs a hero” … my brain just went full Bonnie Tyler
61. She has a terrible poker face
62. Why do people always cut other people off before the big reveal and make them feel bad for wanting to tell the truth
63. That was a lovely pep talk
64. That escalated quickly
65. I see the pep talk worked both ways
66. I like Homelander
67. This is filled with great pep talks, I particularly liked that one from Butcher
68. How do you fuck up getting your phone cover off that badly?
69. Snap back to reality there, little buddy
70. Oops — busted
71. I think that’s just going to make Hughie even angrier
72. Yeah, clearly, you’re the good guy here, Translucent
73. Epic use of London Calling
74. Is he really walking on that glass barefoot and naked?
75. SICK BURN
76. Well, look who stepped it up and killed the naked superhero with an electric shot to the arse
77. Called it, totally not FBI
78. That pitch change though
79. This is not going to end well for the guy who just blackmailed the superhero marketer
80. Oh- Oh, no 
81. I don’t like Homelander anymore

First impressions tell me this show is going to be crazy but also show the stark realities of what real superheroes would be like and how the real world would react — see also: try to sell the shit out of it — in the same way Watchmen touches on. Be right back, I need to binge watch the rest of this show.