81 Reactions I Had While Watching The Boys (Season 1, Episode 1)

Greetings, Gothamites!

Superheroes. A Star Trek alumnus. Meg Ryan’s son. An R-rating. I mean … How could I not dive into The Boys?! (Even if it was two seasons in by the time I got around to it.)

Consider this your significant warning that there will most certainly be spoilers ahead! 

  1. I mean, both kids have valid points but it’s hard to beat “how’s he gonna find his dick, it’s invisible”
  2. Talk about stopping traffic
  3. i’d throw up too if someone split my armoured truck in half just by standing in front of it
  4. I love how bad guys ALWAYS keep shooting at the obviously bulletproof dudes
  5. That cartoon crash in the background while the Captain America/Superman rip-off asks if the boys are okay
  6. Is this guy’s superpower upselling with techno-babble?
  7. I don’t think that means what she thinks it means
  8. That did not mean what she thinks it means
  9. What just happened?
  10. That’s a lot of blood
  11. And internal organs
  12. Is that part of a spine?!
  13. That was fucked up
  14. Mate, if you can run that fast, you should have better reflexes
  15. The Flash never did that
  16. That’s one pretty effective way to create a supervillain
  17. Meanwhile, I have trouble lifting my cat
  18. Super pee test
  19. “Since when did hopeful and naive become the same thing” — I feel that
  21. Yeah, the guy’s girlfriend was just obliterated in front of him but let’s talk about the food
  22. Fuck that lame press conference apology
  23. His imagined response is actually pretty reasonable
  24. That was a good cover on the excited screaming
  25. Didn’t she have a pure white cape before?
  26. Is there like superhero formal and superhero casual?
  27. Extreme superhero marketing
  28. Nice segue from “this is how much money we made off these people” to “but we help them help people too!”
  29. The marketing presentation for the superheroes is too real
  30. This is actually what it would be like if superheroes existed
  31. I still wish they did though
  32. Oh, hey, Aquaman
  33. Superhero imposter syndrome — too real
  34. I bet Homelander doesn’t feel that way
  35. WHAT
  36. WHAT
  38. He did not just say that
  39. He did not just double down on that
  40. What a %$#&
  41. Does this place not have security cameras?!
  42. Yep — far too real
  43. Oh, hey, Bones
  44. Did he just call Lady Liberty a “giant green slapper”?
  45. So, Butcher is basically superhero Mulder?
  46. After seeing The Deep go full Weinstein, I can believe what he’s saying though
  47. Oh, he’s good
  48. What the fuck 
  49. What the FUCK
  50. Wait what … the fuck
  51. Superhero kink club?
  52. Well, that was a graphic description from A-Train
  53. Um, Wonder Woman rip-off? That was a shitty girl talk
  54. Full frontal superhero dick from the second sleazebag
  55. I’m glad to hear there is at least one good hero
  56. I don’t think Butcher is actually FBI
  57. Come on, Hughie, get it together 
  58. Is she selling a superhero to a city?
  59. I wonder how much Central City would pay for The Flash?
  60. “We both know your city needs a hero” … my brain just went full Bonnie Tyler
  61. She has a terrible poker face
  62. Why do people always cut other people off before the big reveal and make them feel bad for wanting to tell the truth
  63. That was a lovely pep talk
  64. That escalated quickly
  65. I see the pep talk worked both ways
  66. I like Homelander
  67. This is filled with great pep talks, I particularly liked that one from Butcher
  68. How do you fuck up getting your phone cover off that badly?
  69. Snap back to reality there, little buddy
  70. Oops — busted
  71. I think that’s just going to make Hughie even angrier
  72. Yeah, clearly, you’re the good guy here, Translucent
  73. Epic use of London Calling
  74. Is he really walking on that glass barefoot and naked?
  76. Well, look who stepped it up and killed the naked superhero with an electric shot to the arse
  77. Called it, totally not FBI
  78. That pitch change though
  79. This is not going to end well for the guy who just blackmailed the superhero marketer
  80. Oh- Oh, no 
  81. I don’t like Homelander anymore

First impressions tell me this show is going to be crazy but also show the stark realities of what real superheroes would be like and how the real world would react — see also: try to sell the shit out of it — in the same way Watchmen touches on. Be right back, I need to binge watch the rest of this show.


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